Finally Human Again
My dad was a single father who had to work long, hard hours to support us. Although families from the church stepped in to help raise my sister and I, I remember feeling like there was something off. It wasn’t until I was 14 that I found out my mother had been an alcoholic, and I had spent the first year of my life in foster care.
With that knowledge came a lot of shame. The darker side of me started to grow and the lighter side – the vibrant and energetic side – was pushed away.
I found myself in survival mode. How am I going to feed myself? My parents aren’t home. How am I going to support myself? My parents aren’t around. I grew up into an adult overnight.
During this time I was also living with undiagnosed ADHD. I would struggle getting homework done and then I would get in trouble from teachers because I couldn’t control my mouth, or
focus, or do what the other neuro-typical kids could do. I often felt unwanted, different, and not good enough.
Up until 18, I didn’t drink, fearing what I knew about my mom. But my first year of university was difficult, and I was faced with more school and more stress and more pressure. I remember wondering what everyone else did to cope, and eventually, alcohol became my solution.
When I had my first drink all of the negative messages in my head just stopped. For the first time in years I felt like I could be myself. Alcohol gave me the liquid courage I craved.
But the thing with addiction is that it builds. I went from one glass of wine on a Friday night to drinking every day before and after class. The messages in my head only got louder and I did what I had to do to quiet them. It snowballed from there.
I didn’t care who I hurt or what I had to do. I did a lot of shameful things to be able to afford alcohol. I lost my spirit and soul, trading them in for the next fix. But it wasn’t the substance I was craving – I was craving peace of mind and connection with others.
In January 2018, I ended up in a treatment program. After graduating I thought about going to the Calgary Dream Centre’s Women’s Housing, but I felt confident that I could beat this on my own.
Unfortunately, treatment was kind of like a bubble, and when I was on my own those negative messages came back. This time, though, I didn’t have alcohol to cope. I’d struggled with suicidal
tendencies since I was 15, but now they grew stronger.
The next year was a cycle of suicide attempts, reaching out for help, and then falling back down. I needed a job to afford my apartment, but the stress of my job would overtake my mental health and I would end up back in that dark, hopeless place time and time again.
After a year of struggling, it was finally time to get in contact with the Dream Centre. There was a waitlist, but I got on it. I found myself in a place where I could no longer afford my apartment
and was being turned away from every resource I reached out to. I was petrified of falling into homelessness and was filled with so much anger towards God and others.
I was a week out from losing my home when the Dream Centre called to say they had a bed available, and I could move in right away. I started crying on the phone. It was the biggest relief because I finally felt safe.
Shortly after moving into the apartments, I started working at the Dream Centre’s Lighthouse Mission Café as a barista. This has been incredible for my recovery.
In the past, I was always petrified that one slip up would cause me to lose my job, and that stress would cause me to spiral into a dark place. But at the Lighthouse Mission Café, they tell me my
recovery comes first. It’s like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Since 12 years old I have been grabbing onto anything even if I knew the branch I was reaching for might give away. Moving into the Dream Centre and working at the café has given me the safety net I need to focus on my recovery.
I finally feel human again. I am full of hope and faith. That vibrant, energetic Kristyna is back, and I couldn’t be more thankful.
Together we can remind the people of Calgary that no one is beyond hope.
Bio coming soon.
Steve Balisky is an intrapreneur with over 15 years of experience driving data-driven transformation within national companies Suncor and Mark’s. He has also been providing leadership consulting to nonprofits for the last 10 years and has served on the CDC board since 2019. Steve holds a Bachelor of Commerce in Operations Management and an MBA in Strategy. He is a husband and father of two, and has his own faith-filled recovery story, which inspires him to support others on their path to recovery.
Ben has been the Lead Pastor of First Assembly Church in Calgary since 2014, bringing over 30 years of ministry and leadership experience to the non-profit sector. He’s also an executive leadership coach, helping leaders thrive across various sectors since 2012. His experience includes serving on national and regional boards within his denomination, as well as supporting Vancouver’s homeless through his past involvement with Operation Compassion. Ben has served on the CDC board in Calgary for the past decade and believes the Church plays a vital role in creating lasting community impact.
Craig Hill has been involved with the Calgary Dream Centre (CDC) since its inception. Starting with trips to the LA Dream Centre where seeds were planted in him that were never forgotten. After years of working in business, real estate, and church ministry, Craig returned to the CDC to step in as the CEO. Craig has a deep appreciation for the life change that happens here, the incredible team, and seeing the redemptive work that God is doing. Outside of work, Craig is a family man who loves nothing more than being with his wife and kids at the lake.
David grew up in northern Canada and attended the University of Alberta where he graduated with a degree in electrical engineering. He worked as an engineer for about seven years before moving into project management and then business management, primarily focused in the oil and gas production and refining industry.
David stepped into the COO role of a business that was in trouble due to the 2008 financial crisis. After turning that business around, he took an international role leading project managers who managed a portfolio of $1.5B of projects around the globe.
Since then, David has consulted for businesses and organizations in medicine, engineering, homelessness, and addiction recovery, and serves on various not-for-profit boards.
David is currently running another business in California that was also in need of a dramatic turnaround and now scaling this business for further profitable growth.
Cal has spent 35 years in the agricultural industry and brings domestic and international executive leadership experience in strategy development, operations, business development, and M&A in a rapid growth environment. He is a Professional Engineer, Certified Post Merger Integration Specialist, and is a holder of the Institute of Corporate Directors Director designation (ICD.D).
Throughout his life, Cal has volunteered in his community in sport and programs that focus on relational, emotional, and spiritual health. He has served on non-profit boards in both governance and advisory capacities. Cal truly believes no one is beyond hope and counts it a privilege to serve at the Calgary Dream Centre.
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Bob Nash is a dedicated and service focused professional Electrical Engineer volunteering as Board Chair and Project Manager for the Calgary Dream Centre (CDC). Bob’s involvement with the CDC extends to its earliest days. His faith, and his sincere passion for helping people overcome addiction and restoring their lives, have motivated his service. Using his 35 years of senior management experience at Canadian Pacific Railway, Bob has effectively used his leadership, management, strategic planning, project management skills and philanthropic support to help propel the Calgary Dream Centre to where it is today. Bob and his wife of 44 years have two children and six grandchildren.