I’ve always had a busy mind and seemed to think differently than those around me. Growing up, my family moved around a lot. I created different masks to try and fit in wherever I was instead of embracing who I am. We lived in relative poverty, and life felt tumultuous at times.
I focused all my energy on school and getting good grades to cope. The goal of getting into university kept me going, and I got a full scholarship to the University of Manitoba. After graduating, I entered the workforce. Without the goal of doing well in school, I found myself starting to drink and use cocaine. Drinking and using drugs helped sedate my busy mind and inner pain.
In active addiction, life felt empty and alone. I had no purpose or faith. I would often cause people I loved pain because I was in pain. My family canceled our Easter celebration because I would use heavily under their roof whenever we got together.
My rock bottom came when my family could no longer handle seeing me. I had grown so cold-hearted, and how I acted did not align with who they knew I was. I felt I was not conducive to producing any kind of love. After looking at several treatment centers, I applied to the Calgary Dream Centre.
Receiving supportive housing, meals, and programming here at the CDC gave me the ability to be plucked out of my life so I could finally just focus on my recovery. In addiction, I never cared for myself. I would go days without eating and had no routine, which impacted me physically. In treatment, I was taught how to care for myself again. I started exercising and regularly eating, which helped bring the mental clarity I needed to go through the program.
The brotherhood here is transforming. I found it beneficial to be in an environment where people around you are going through similar things. No one feels better or worse than you. We all have the same goal. Together, we would process, grieve, and heal from the impact our addictions had on us and those we loved.
I’ve now made a complete 180-degree turn since coming here. I’ve found faith and purpose. I’ve learned I am loved and am now genuinely living a life of loving and helping others where I can. I’m using the unique way I think for good instead of trying to hide or sedate it.
Easter while I was in the program was great because they invited our families to be with us. I expected to feel ashamed having my family visit me here, but it ended up helping me realize that I was healing and on my way back up! It feels amazing to have my family back in my life!
Registered Charity #: 86140 0059 RR0001
